I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion
When theres a fly in your room and you’re trying to kill it then it hides for an hour then you finally find it
cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?
me: sure do! 8:15
cute girl on the street: thanks
me: so what are we?